Grey.

Post war era. A new beginning to all the optimists who choose to think that life without war is finally not a dream after all, but reality staring down upon them. As one would say it was a miracle, I choose to believe it was purely the bloodshed of our fellowmen who fought in what was to believe a never ending battle, with courage and bravery one cannot fathom possible. They died, sacrificing their lives, homes, families, dreams, hopes and simply existence just for the love of their country and for a better future of our children.

With all the jubilations and sighs of reliefs, us Sri Lankans tend to forget what lies ahead. For many, a new holiday in their calendar is the day of victory. It is the day to sit at home to watch television, where the channels broadcast live telecast of new found independence with advertisements popping up every five minutes. It is the day to be egoistically proud of so called ‘undefeated lions’ of one nation. Are we truly undefeated? Have we truly won the battle? Have we finally found all the solutions to the ethnic conflict? Are we a ‘one nation’? Questions we avoid to answer surely because ignorance is bliss?

These are the days I choose to call as the days of Greys. Are we black or are we white? On one hand we won a battle of thirty years and defeated the most dangerous terrorist group in the world, who used guerrilla attacks, suicide bombers and child soldiers as their main weapons. We united as one nation and live as free men of our country. On the other hand, we are responsible for the deaths of hundreds and thousands of men and women whom were once a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, a friend, a son or a daughter, despite the ethnicity, Sinhala, Tamil or Muslim. We are responsible for hundreds of IDP camps in war zones. We are responsible for the childhood and future of children who are dying to play in their own back yards, go to school and live a happy life.

I simply prefer neither black nor white, but grey. Greyness initiates not to take sides but to clear our eyes from the inferiority, dishonesty, racism and ignorance which have clouded the minds and spirits of us. It directs us to start analyzing where we went wrong, what we did wrong and what we are doing wrong. As far as it goes violence can never be defeated by violence. War suddenly ended on a note of violence just like in a movie where the enemy is wiped out. Can that be the real end of a thirty year old conflict? Does it give all the solutions to the sufferings and torments of innocent beings?

Thinking grey is a way of weighing all possibilities. It is all about being fair to our neighbors as well as to ourselves. Admitting things happened in the past was at fault and rethinking our actions and changing our attitudes towards minority is essential. Sometimes human actions are fast and inhumane. Like the times we address our Tamil friends and inquire about how they were affected by war, just out of curiosity. These questions might hurt them deeply and incessantly.

As an example once when I was at a lecture with few of my colleagues, I asked one of the Tamil students if her relatives were any how involved in war. This led to a drastic change in the atmosphere where it all turned gloomy and intense. The girl who was smiling and friendly suddenly replied in a defensive way and turned her back on me. I fairly well understood that I should not pry into matters as such in a futile way as that my knowledge of their sufferings is nowhere near reality of the situation. What she told me simply was that “many died, all of them are dead”. As dense as I could be, I did not consider the consequences of my actions. To make matters worse, the lecturer started on a topic of how great thou art is Sri Lankan politics and what happened was for the best. It felt more like brainwashing the Tamil into believing they don’t have to fear anymore as that everything is under control. I clearly have my doubts.

The best solution is yet to be found. It should be based upon the feelings and emotions of the sufferings. It should protect basic human rights of any ethnicity group. It should give every being the freedom to live and express their thoughts in a language they prefer. It should give them the right to be accepted for who they are. This is the perfection of greys, choosing neither black nor white but accepting imperfection. It is the wisdom of actual peace and harmony in words, thoughts and deeds. Surely the day we achieve this will be the day of glory.