I, a mystery to be solved.....

I, the word itself could mean a lot... just a one letter consisting of a name, an age defined by time counted by years, months and days, a living being with a soul, a story to be told by the next generation to come....

I, the word itself is a mystery.....a mystery that 'I' want someone to solve....and tell me the meaning of 'I'....for 'I' wish to be defined....found out by clues...sought out by the one to solve the mystery of 'I'.....as 'I' still linger here as 'I'......

frustrated.....

As for now after the big event which was a great success due to many efforts from a team of incredible talent i sit here rethinking of it all.....

I still cant understand how tiny little men running around killing each other on a screen can be so thrilling....all the blood that's spilled on screen does not make anything better...yet how people are enchanted and only thing in mind is winning....yet i was curious enough to try it out myself...to tell the truth i enjoyed it more than i wanted to....and had to admit to a certain arrogant person that he was right....arghh....now we humans do not like to admit we were ever wrong now, do we?

The next frustration i came across is not new to me....i again entered the cycle of wondering "why is he here?? is he with friends??? why did he bother to turn up anyway??? he's not even great friends with the team....cyber games is not his thing anyway....etc etc..." endless questions and arriving at absurd conclusions and tiring myself for no reason.... but the new me knows better... the new me does not give a damn anymore.......

The obsession of starry eyes...yes that's a bit more frustrating than i expected...is it just an obsession??? still cant find an answer...

yet the world spins around me....but me??? am i stuck in one place??? if anyone can find an answer ill be forever grateful... yet im smiling the secret smile for i have hope....surely oneday we'll all be ok???

fingers crossed....

starry eyes
over and out...

August Rush........

The rush of the wind........the sweet harmonica played.....every sound drawing you closer to where you belong....the wind chimes swaying to the sound of the wind.....the chills it gives you....tingles starting from the toes spreading through the soul....the sensation and the feeling of ecstasy.......

well i call it the "august rush".....music is everywhere, as long as you stop to listen.....

yes i do believe life is all music....full of it....major scales and minor scales....quavers and semi quavers to spice it all up....sharps and flats to stir it up....... sometimes a soprano...sometimes a dull note...whatever it is you know you are free....on cloud number nine as some say...

hmmm....what im trying to say maybe is that august was full of it....every single day was a song played by the wind....so many good byes....so many sighing....so many sleepless nights of thinking life will ever be the same again....but yet so many more to come....so many more to say....so much to look forward to....am i being too naive????

yet its a rush....a rush of emotions which cannot be described...yet so exciting....i again call it the "August Rush"

perhaps BI would agree with me??? ;)

Back to the land of blogs...

Hey mind you i do have one more paper to study for...
oh well, just thought of getting back after visiting the land of Narnians...
and loosing the wallet on the way and finding it back..
(i was scared to death but my greatest quality on not showing emotions got the best of me)
oh...and breaking a slipper just before the exam and walking around in university premises...one on,one off....
looking for the shoe guy on the road who is forever there but not there when you actually want him to be there....
asking for a dear friend to bring slippers for me....but managing to pin it back somehow...
ice cream just to get off the rain and "hey too bad boy!!!you are not getting a tip just because you served us extra scoops...haaa!!! we did NOT ask for it!!!!" (oops...more like we are broke and was almost robbed so don't have enough money to pay for it...sorry)
and yes!!! finally ending one of those days...one that might be on your mind for a long time....free bus ride back home...(Not that we winked at the conductor or threatened him with a bomb...simply we couldn't find him...)
now how extraordinary is that???? ;)
It has been too long....good to be back...

Shadows in purple tiaras.

Shadows of the bright sunlit day...
haunting me for almost from the moment it started...
The day i walked in...
all i saw was the shadows walking past me,
pretending not to see I was there
(whereas all those cynical,sex crazed eyes were on me...weighing...measuring...analyzing...)
They made me feel disgusted about myself...
disgraced me of who I was....
degraded me only because I was born this way....
only to make me feel empty & sorry for myself...
just so that i will wallow in self pity...
in order to seek out help from a 'higher being'...
a stronger version of a shadow...
so that the shadow can shine through his eternal flame of glory...
and conquer the shameful world they live in...
(survival of the fittest?? or is it more the survival of the pettiness??)
To glorify that he is the king-to-be....
Almost a shadow in a purple tiara,
fame, power and honour...
who think they have the right to control me, my thoughts, my sanity...
a throne seek ed out by all shadows...
just to show that they are the god given gifts to the world...
the real thing with the right mind to change the world...

but once the sun goes down...shadows disappear....
darkness overcomes the misery and the emptiness...
till a new day begins...
where the sun shines throughout the day...
where me and only me stands alone...
smiling to myself...
that I was smart enough...
never to choose a shadow to be my guardian..
never to let them reach out to me and grab my soul....
never to choose to be a shadow in a purple tiara...

Wicked Words...;)

"Because I told you, you would look to regret it,
and now I don't wanna make you feel bad,
But when it comes to me just forget it,
I'll be the best you never had,
You put me through so many emotions,
Now baby it's your turn for that,
'cause in your empty heart I left a mark,
The best you never had."

Ok so now that im tagged...here i go..

THE list of 'SMILES'

1. 'My' family...highly dysfunctional, yet its 'My'.
2. Adoring doggy stare.
3. The distant voices that keep me sane...wink*
4. The starry brown eyes...an obsession...i know... i know...
5. Any book readable...movies...
6. Definitely music that keeps me awake all night long...
7. church,the choir, the Christmas spirit, Easter eggs (too bad we don't have them)
8. Beet root.
9. shopping for nothing...
10. everything that brings a smile to my face...

:D